Religious Buying

Religious Buying
A hot afternoon in September,
channel surfing and drinking iced tea,
I discovered a new kind of weirdness,
t'was was Christmas on Bid TV.

I was shocked and disorientated,
my brain couldn’t cope with the sight,
of the man with the dubious hairdo
flogging baubles with all his might.

His suit was momentously shiny,
his hair was a curious weave,
and the toot he was selling -
there was really no telling
if it would last you till New Years Eve.

Yes the man in the shiny suit shouted,
and the girl in the short skirt grinned,
as I reached for the phone,
I declared with a groan:

“Forgive me for I have sinned”
So I bought a cheap watch for a pony,
a price I was willing to 'bid'
with the price of the postage and packing
it came in around sixty quid.

But the man with the weave was relentless,
the dude wouldn’t let me stop there,
he sold me an 'exquisite' fragrance,
some towels and a vibrating chair.

My eyes were all wide and addicted,
my hand on the dial was a blur,
and I'd have to say
I'd forgot Baby J
with his Frankincense, Gold and Myrrh.

Yes I'd forgotten the story of Christmas,
with donkeys and wise men and that,
and swapped it for something more special...
stupendous amounts of tat.

I'd forgotten the cattle were lowing,
the Shepherds who came from afar,
in my race to consume,
I'd just left no room
for following yonder star.

There came a momentous decision,
as The Baby J's story unfurled,
I'd had enough bidding..
but who was I kidding?
I switched over to Ideal World.

Cos religion for me don't come easy,
but purchasing crap does you see,
there's a moral it's true,
I would tell it to you,
but I'm too busy watching TV.

Me
05 December 013