Poem -
Dad
So then he left me,
my Dad.
On to pastures new.
My Mum loved him dearly.
He left anyway,
what's a man to do?
Couldn’t cope
with the smallness,
the newness of me.
He was young himself
and inexperienced I think.
He got with the woman
across the road.
Really.
What's this man to think?
No excuse
no truce
with me now.
Has it shaped me?
Made me who I am today?
I suppose so
but as I said.
My Mum loved him dearly
and the fella just fled.
I met him once,
much later.
I thought he may be
the answer
to my restless dislocation.
He was aloof..
a trait I now find
in myself
condemned by association.
And my God he looked like me.
And my God I loved him instantly.
Me
6th December 2013 12.23am
Support CosmoFunnel.com
You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.
Comments
The love for a parent is deep inside the child. Despite the care given or the time spent together, there will be similarities in the actions and looks. My father was a traveling salesman and we saw him every couple of months. He would be happy to see us when he first got home, but the next day he would start yelling at us and abusing us. Spankings and verbal assaults that would put fear into a man and we were only 8 and 5 years old. I am fifty now and rarely see him. I love him because he is my father, but dislike the man he was. This is what I believe the writer here feels. He may not have been around, but his DNA is inside and actions and looks will be alike. That doesn't mean the writer will be like the father in their lives, but there will still be similarities. I see a lot of my younger life in this write.
The poem itself is full of angry feelings and I think many will be able to understand this. Good job, Anthony
Thanks Anthony....you have pretty much nailed the thoughts behind this poem and I appreciate your words. I have tried to make a simple poem from some complicated feelings.
Glad you liked it.
NICE PIECE ANTHONY X IVEXPERIENCED A SIMILAR THING WITH MY DAUGHTER & HER SO CALLED DAD
Steven the structure of this poem was actually very poignant and well devised. Made a statement of feeling and you conveyed it very well! Much enjoyed, great job :)
Rachel thank you. Your comment on structure was great to hear as I really try to be as original as possible with this....you know..avoiding clichés and all that malarkey.
Structure can be really important Steven, and can change the way you read something. Like you said it can give your poetry originality :)
...It can Rachel. I like to fiddle with structure and metre maybe rhyme odd words where the reader would not expect.....hopefully too good effect. (see what I did there?)
great write Steven can relate x
Tina...Ta. Need to get on here more often and check out other folks rhymes!
Not enough hours in the day and all that.