Relingquishing

Passing the time away fighting the loneliness day after day I try to keep the tears at bay.

Thoughts penetrate my mind of things done to me unkind.

I feel as though my inner child has been imprisoned in a glass bottle.

She is unable to protect herself from things that were extremely hostel. 

Voices that echo from the past stir the pain that last.

Events that are frozen in time sometimes uncontrollably race into my mind.

Sorting through the present and past slows the clock but makes life speed fast.

Lingering conversations interfere with the present as they weave in and out of my thoughts.

Some are menacing like horror movie plots.

I remember being on suicide watch on many occasions.

It was put upon me to handle the entire situations.

I fight myself to regain control.

Myself I console.

To those in my life that have over stepped your boundaries you have my sympathy.

I see now your actions were of stupidity.

I forgive you your short comings.

No matter how unbecoming.

Most of you are dead but you live on in my head.

I carried your load for far too long.

I’ve been forced to be unrealistically strong.

You can’t intrude on my life anymore.

Like sand on the beach you will be washed from shore.

Only the stones of good things done will remain.

I am peacefully relinquishing the pain and the shame.