Repent

I have hid who I am, 
to you, to her, to him and them 
they might think 
they know me 
but if they did 
they would never be able to love me.
I’m sick, in the deepest darkest ways.

I struggle with my own identity. I was born to a dead family tree, I was never desired or loved unconditionally.

I had no father, my mother an ungrateful lost teenager, lacking education and captive to mental diseases. She once was admitted to a crazy hospital. 

My family taught me drama, hate, handed down insecurities and rage, tools I have tried not to use but rather runaway from.

Sins I have committed, people I have hurt, lies I have told, emotions I have sold, my blood runs cold, my smile can warm but those who recognize shouldn’t feel comfort but rather be warned, I’m spawned from angels yarn, a pawn in a biblical war, the result of trust being broken from the highest to reward, I am flawed! 

So please don’t judge me, please don’t label me based on who I am, I am a result of what they made me, I have held back for so long and will continue to not become what it is they call! 

So please forgive me, for not being who it is I am, it’s not good for anyone including myself! I’m lost from results that chose their vices first versus what could come!

I was birthed a true creation of wedlock, I should’ve been aborted but for some reason the world was met by my first breath, a true hybrid, my life merely a bid, forever an investment they will regret.

for my purpose will never burn with passion, I will remain to keep it hid!