replaced

i made it so easy to hide and bail
they put in my head i do nothing but fail
faith in me i do not give 
so damn tired of this life i live
forgive myself i dont know how
look inside do i deserve it now
so much here i need to save
every second thier love i crave 
everyday i live a lie
the wieght i load with no tears to cry
they keep on saying dont look back 
just move forward stay on track
look in the mirror what do you see 
so much numbing is it still me?
these painful years i think im lost
i seem to pay the hardest cost 
they both seem happy without me there 
the guardians never seem to care
take my place so easily done 
self-medicate so thats all numb
all of the pain they laugh at me
ignoring me and the tears they see
they will never see what its doing 
hurting me what are they possibly proving