River of lost dreams

Every day I'm left spinning,
Remembering the feeling I had when my life was worth living.
I used to be okay,
But now I'm reminded I'm not worth saving every day.
It's hard to tell if the chaos is real,
Or if I'm just denying the way I feel.
I used to have more friends than I could count,
But now I can't trust a friend without being clouded by doubt.
I can't give in,
I can't let my life end.
So I'll keep floating down my river of lost dreams,
Until I can find a way to stop the tears from flowing.
The pain is crushing,
But the desire for hope is flourishing.
I used to think there's no fault in wanting my suicide,
Now I choose to let truth be my guide.