Ruby Murray.

My pores sweat like monsoon rain.
My ears flap like sails in the wind.
My eyes redder than a marijuana smoking hippy.
My belly rumbles like a battalion of army tanks.
My voice as hoarse as a person with tonsillitis.
My knees as weak as an old age pensioners.
My arse as painful as a heart attack.
My mouth steaming like a swedish sauna.
My body shaking like an apple tree in a hurricane.
My inner body as hot as an oven cooking the christmas turkey.
Bloody hell that curry was hot.
Water Water where for art thou Water.