Sad poet

Looking back in the distance I see 'll the pain all the hardships in my life and wonder how I'm able to still stand tall  all my prayers in time been forgotten  I see how much I have changed  just another zombie walking on this world  I can't remember the last time I felt joy tears no longer fall a strange feeling waiting to die and yet another day goes by not understanding why , there is no purpose in my life so hard to keep my head up carrying all my pain all my suffering can't beg for a change for in so many years my request went unheard  long ago I forgot about God how can he be real if all I see is suffering all I see is my suffering is a strange feeling to see darkness and be comfortable in it my heartbeat reminds me of what at one point I had love another day goes by wondering if i won't wake up a zombie in this world of mine ..