Saturday Night Fever!

Dressing gown on, sitting on the couch,
Runny nose, a thermometer in my mouth,
I've got my pocket tissues and big bottle of Lucozade,
I can hardly breathe, it's like I'm a clogged up drain.

I've got Saturday night fever,
Get the Vicks on my chest!
I've got Saturday night fever,
The doctor said, "get some rest!"

Time for my Heinz tomato soup, I can't taste, I may aswel be eating gloop!
I can't even read, my guncky nose keeps dripping on my favourite book,
Times like these, I need to watch a movie, I love Doris Day in Calamity Jane,
Too bad I keep nodding off, this hot water bottle, nice and snug, is to blame.

Picture the scene, a nose like Rudolf, face like shrek, twisted up pillow around my neck,
Trying to get comfortable, yelling at my husband, he's losing plot, "you should have a bell!"
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, what a load of rubbish, I'm eating the whole bloody bowl,
I'm sick of the old wives tales, next they'll tell me to rub an old gold ring, on my sniffling nose!

I've got Saturday night fever,
Get the Vicks on my chest!
I've got Saturday night fever,
The doctor said, "get some rest!"

When I'm poorly, I'm always a bit dramatic, nothing works! Not even a packet of lockets,
So I just sit, moan and groan with a tub of Vicks in my red, dressing gown pocket!

Get the Vicks!
Get the Vicks!
I've got Saturday night fever!