"saved"

I feel as though I'm stumbling alone through this deep dark abyss, 
Yet sadly reflecting on my entire life there's only two I would miss, 
If not for being the creator of life of these precious beings, 
My entire existence would have absolutely no meaning, 
They really are my breath, my heart, my soul, 
Without either one of them; as a person I just wouldn't be whole,
I've found myself in the dark one to many times, 
After putting them to bed and tracing my wrist lines,
As the blade enters; it slowly releases feeling of relief, 
And I have to stop myself for a moment; all it means is I'll leave those two feeling the grief, 
People say it's selfish; it's not fair, 
But what good is a mother who asks herself daily why she was ever put here, 
The blood trickles down and I lower the blade, 
One more incision; what's one more who cares; at least I was "saved",
Saved by the sound of their laughter, 
Saved by the spark in their eyes, 
Saved by the pure innocence and the love of my child