Scarlet Tears

In the darkness,
I'm only a shadow,
invisible,
unseen to the world,
unloved by all,
unknown by any,
in the black,
there is no comfort,
there's only this,
pain,
pleasure-filled pain,
to cause the pain,
to love it,
to hate it.
Though I tried,
so very hard,
until my heart bleed,
like the thousand needle,
I have pressed into myself,
there was so little hope,
even without the hope,
in the black,
of my own shadow,
I pretended to see the light,
that was all around me,
for you I smiled,
and laughed,
as I washed the blood stains from my eyes.
A little lie,
here and there,
to keep me company,
to be my prayer,
I told myself,
to stop,
to ignore you,
to let you go,
give you freedom,
from this shadow,
I dare call myself,
to let you go,
let you leave me,
so I may cry,
in the scarlet tears,
only I want to see.