A second

i spend too many of my moments thinking about minutes

60 Moments of minutes  thinking about each hour and the way those hours are made of 60 times 60 ticks of a clock

60 each for 24

24...

At 24 I spend too much time counting and recounting the seconds in my head. Fingers busy pecking up to 24 the core of me is adding up the hours

24 hours in a day made of sixty minutes of sixty seconds ticking away by the moment til you've got 24, a full day

One day

While sitting on the bus counting seconds on my fingers I realized something
Our perception of time changes with the speed of our minds

its always the same measurement

Yet to some a second seems to drag by while to others it is but a moment
And it's not just seeming

They really are different

the length of my moments and yours
Its interesting

And I can't help but think how it changes our lives.
Something we can never see or prove
Something invisible Even to math but it controls the beat we walk to
I can't help but wonder what it does to us
You might be asking why it matters.

It certainly doesn't seem to.
Well,
Like a skinny boy has an easier time rising from his bed than the fat man 
I
think some minds have an easier time biding aside from life and waiting in line
Content in short-slipping-seconds-sliding by
I think some minds find that rough and each sandpaper second rubs them raw with waiting
Each tick tick tick Tick TICK TICK TICK Kills them inside
But
What else does this little second stretching change. 

For some old memories seems fresher. Seconds pass forgotten and unnoticed as they stare back with longing
sepia-toned shades gazing on Elysian Fields make everything warmer back there and when you take them off right now seems so cold and alone. 

Today is not their home 

Like the arms of others will never be home to those poor hearts that make each heartbreak feel like the earth is cracking in two. 
A paper cut becomes a gash and a gash becomes a severance until they aren't connected anymore

And their numb hearts become whores who have no body and nobody to come home to.

How much of a difference can a second make?
A second tries to repeat itself and will if you let it
leave you stuck on repeat and doomed to repeat your mistakes with a different set of lips pressed against yours.
Life is long

and when you fall the movie doesn't end

A second wind 
Hits you just before your body gives outt When you hit the ground of questioning your desire to move on you bear unending seconds of doubt. These things make our fears scream that seconds should be shorter.

and yet we won't let them end 
it takes a special kind of bravery to both see and believe that length is what we long for. 
That we want to extend every little smile and frown as long as we can. Every second we wish could last a minute and it might if you let it.
A second is set in stone but not so firmly set in our minds

So im sitting here counting seconds on my fingers. Wondering how slow or fast I am

and realizing my fingers are just holding sand

my moments are slipping away

But only because I want them to
If I didn't I'd just find a cup
But I want them too
People say life is short
Bullshit
Life is long
Just like a work shift is long
Agonizingly, endlessly, oppressively long
Ticking clocks and nightmares long
When you don't want to be there
When you don't want be here

Ever since that night seconds have been longer 
The minutes
60 full for one single hour

60 in each 60, in each 24
Since that night when you were 24
And she was no longer yours
I'm barely in my twenties
We spend twenty years in old age regretting
Can you imagine?
I can
Counting little seconds on my hands
I stand in the enormity of merest moments

And their stretching