Self hatred towards writing

I remember being told I'm not good enough
Writing trying to seem tough
Writing to get rid of emotions and stuff
Hearing that from who I thought were the real ones, that shit was rough

Been told to just stop
That I'll never reach the top
What i thought was a raindrop
Really just a teardrop
Dropping onto my tank top

Been told I suck
That I'm shit out of luck
That whatever I do, I'll always be stuck
Can't make anyone awestruck
Might as well just say fuck
It and get hit by a semi truck.

You might ask who would say this type of shit
Well, me and I fucking hate it
I sit here and throw a fit 
Telling myself to just quit
And i must admit
This shit really has no benefit
I really should just commit.
Even when I do it
I'll be dead in a pit 
nobody give a fuck about me except for the one dude staring down at me just to spit.

That dude is me, just telling him I'm right
My writing would never amount to anything so just give up the fight
6 feet under i'm out of sight
Every day and night
Casket shut tight
Ain't no light
But everything's alright
Cuz down here I can't disappoint when I pick up that pen and begin to write.