Moon Rock Razor Blades

My college roommate is dark Irish
and shaves twice a day,
I am five percent light Scots-Irish
and luckily shave every other day.
 
I pay $7 for the Economy 10 pack
of double razors
that last me for a month.
In 2010 razor prices double,
even tripling in price.
I can only figure companies are now
using gold or moon rock blades.
 
I find a retail store selling
Windsor Blades for $3 a pack.
I drove around Passaic County to five stores
and buy every pack of Windsor blades,
enough to last me a year
and saving me $100 for a clean face.
 
I  join the Razor club $6 a month but
switch to the brand of German blades
an NFL quarterback is hawking
“guaranteed” to last for 6 months,
but only lasts me 3 months.
I spend $10 a month
for German technology
that was to average me $3 a month.
So much for guarantees.
 
To be a woman shaving long legs
and armpits must be a drag.
 
My Filipina wife is gifted,
she does not have to shave her legs,
armpits or use deodorant.
Helen hits the body hair lotto
putting her razor-deodorant savings
in her bank account.
 
In college a I grow a Burt Reynolds mustache,
and a beard for buck season every November.
I grow a beard for my trip to Mali in 1987,
Africans believe it is a sign of wisdom.
In the summer I shave every 3-4 days
sporting a rugged look
every third summer day.
 
I enjoy the feel of the warm rag
and shaving crème 
that softens my whiskers.
To be in the Zen
of the shaving act
is a benefit of civilization.
 
The only thing worse
than cleaning post shavings
in the sink
is having to look
into my eyes
in the mirror.
 
It has gotten better.