Shower

With each and every rain drop a story to be toldÂ
Beaty despair an ever lasting cycleÂ
Water rushing down my face I feel it like tears of the earthÂ
is this the true nature of the showersÂ
The true purpose of the showersÂ
to try and show us the pain we are causing to the worldÂ
suffocating
unable to breath
 And yet we still ignore the signsÂ
we can make a change
but will youÂ
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Comments
Last two stanzas are near perfect.
What would need changing from your prospective to make them perfectÂ
I would maybe make suffocating it’s own line and change “yet we still ignore” to “and yet we still ignore”. Makes it a bit more desperate in my eyes.