Silent god

 to a silent god i scribble this where have you been all this time? I have prayed with all my heart did countless sacrifices and yet all is same , trial after trial after painful trial i have endured , in my lowest times i praised you and in my highest times i praised you even more , perhaps you enjoy seeing how much it hurts when my life goes right and you take it away., maybe you enjoy seeing all my pain and suffering thanks to you it has made me stronger. Colder.  I still pray and praised you but not the same way. I been faithful a soldier despite all the pain but now i just cant continue on your trials seem to have no end and the pain comes sooner. It seems i cant be happy for you takes all away. You prevent me from my eternal sleep but give me misery instead . i cant seem to cry anymore i have become acustom to such a life were prayers go unheard. To a silent god i pray and pray for one day my life to change even tho it seems you have forgotten me i still stay faithful how much more must i beg how much more must i endure for you to hear me so many years have passed and still the same to a silent god i pray ...........