Silvia

Silvia brushes her hair
with one of her hands
gently slides over her head
the robust instrument
trying to tame, yet again
the skein of black curls
she inherited from my Grandfather
with her other hand
strokes the naughty little ones
that having played
tag with the brush
keep trying to slip away
unnoticed
she has a mirror, but ignores it
her thoughts
at the sight of the open door
have escaped
through the blue sky
flying away to a distant place
in her memory 
whilst the brown doves
that her hands are
continue their flight
so many times travelled

she knows herself very well
that compliments and insults
have never moved from its place
a single strand of her hair
nor will they now
that her youth has passed and
her vanity has been snatched away
by a usurper, who gaining
control of her body
has already weakened her limbs
changed her facial expressions
disturbed her speech and
recently, has caused
an annoying drooling
that simply does not stop
one of those things
that has no explanation, so
why bother asking?
if everything in the end
is a matter of time
whatever time
means now or
when things get worse

when she was little
she resented nicknames
sunbeams, halo of hairs
I never understood the relation
between Silvia and Chiqui
now, I can see it
I used to call her Tía Tutis, but
back then, the child was me
when her hair was long
tied at the back
with a braided tail or
a long spiral curl
always hanging down her back
except when the weather was hot or at work
where it was tied up in a bun
but those days are long gone
now she has silver glitter and
she wears it short, very short
to make her life easier
whatever easier
means now or
when things get worse
because, everything is changing
fast, so fast, faster
than she can understand
accept or assimilate! 
 
some curls
have been left loose, but
she forgives them, she lets them be
her hair has always been unruly
a challenge of her own nature
like being overweight
some discs out of place and
now Parkinson’s disease
that changes the rules of the game
but she still doesn't understand
what the game is about 

Silvia brushes her hair
suddenly she realizes
that I've been watching her
she smiles at me, at first
with the peace that comes from
caressing her hair
then with embarrassment  
for her new appearance
without being able to help it
she begins to cry and
covers her face
with her trembling hands

I move closer to her
hold her head
very close to my heart and  
gently stroke her hair
as she did so often
with me
but I
not being so strong
cry with her