Snares

Everywhere I turn there is a snare.

Memories that linger bring emotions that mortify and terrorize. 

Emotions of confusion emit silent screams of internal horror.

Images of grotesque bloody faces pop up into my minds' eye.

The carnage of loved ones is still infused with my heart that has been battered and abused.

Hands that no longer exist still stab the knife of betrayal into my soul and twist.

By compression I was sexually abused and my inner child still lays in a bloody bed.

To this day terror races through my head.

The body of my cousin was found bloated and decayed and the images of her, in my mind, still shocks and enrages.

Her love was contagions.  

Black clotted blood, of my grandfather, is still pooled on the bathroom floor.

I can not make sense of it anymore.

My aunts' beautiful face blown off by a shot gun has haunted me from an early age of six.

My other beloved aunt blew herself away with a 57 mg fixed in her mouth.

I still cry, scream and shout!

A girl, I use to baby sit, hung herself with a wire from a garage rafter.

Never again will I see her smile or hear her laughter.

The death of a childhood friend, at age nine, still steals my breath and makes my heart race.

I'll never forget her beautiful smiling face.

My heart can find no rest.

A drunken mother’s words of vileness still echos though many years have past.

Twenty-two family and friends have passed away during the period of thirty-three years.

They all still fuel constant internal tears.

The endurance of a twenty-five- years of an antagonistic marriage still discourages.

The Lord sustains my faithful heart, even though it feels like it is coming apart.

wish you were all hear, may then my life won't be filled with tears.