So much to lose and gain.

I am not ungrateful. 
I just already have to travel light. 
I would carry more if there wasn't a rod in my back. 

I am not evil just bad thoughts I've had, but I never acted on mine. 

Is that what makes me sad I did say thank you and please why is life such a tease. 

So much for that. 

So much better than finding out there right I am to blame now I've grown, but the decision of old days is still unknown. 

So losses what can one say that you choke up my neck every day. 

That you drown me and surround me in every way. 

That parts comfort and disturb me in the same period. 

So much to lose and gain on the travels of pain. 

So many worries to see. 

I stand witness to  atrocity felt the whip of trails and tribulations. 

I am disappointed I must say but not ungrateful.

My dissatisfied is not about you, more or less how much I marked myself // for not passing all the tests, there is so much of a tale about unrest.

Gain and loss 
make-up a skeleton Frail.