Soil Graveyard

I don’t remember the first moment we met.

I don’t remember the first words we said to each other.

Frankly it took me a while just to remember your name.

But the first time you I heard you speak,

The first time your words echoed on one syllable,

That's when I knew.

Everyday after that, my face flushed,

Like the ocean’s tide crashed onto sandy skin and brought color into my life.

That’s what you did:

You brought color into my life

And for that,

I will thank you for a thousand years.

But you also brought me pain.

I just thought I was the soil of a drought

And all I needed was your rain

But instead, you gave me sun.

Beating down on me,

Suffocating all the growth and beauty I had to offer.

And I know you didn’t mean to do this.

Hell you don’t even know you did

But would it even matter?

I watched you drown her in your attention

And when that wasn’t enough,

I watched your knife wounds grow

As you bled out, giving her everything that gave you life.

Even now,

You pick at your scabs

Just so you can bleed more for her

But I don’t have the heart to tell you,

She does not thrive on you to survive

She lives on her light and hers alone

So stop bleeding out breath in

Inhale all the nourishment you have been depriving of yourself for so long

When we said our last goodbyes,

I was afraid I wouldn’t let go

You were afraid I rooted myself too deep into you

Our arms wrapped around each other for one last time

And when we let go

You looked at her and then at me

I let my tears fall down like seeds,

Trying to plant myself into your memories

You were already overflowing with her

I don’t remember the first moment we met

I don’t remember the first words we said to each other

Frankly it took me a while just to remember your name

But I remember the weed you planted in my garden of memories with you

And all was destroyed with the words “I’m sorry”