Something much less than love

she left us with the handsome
man with the big car.
since then even after all
these years I have looked
and searched for a place
to lose my sadness.

sometimes in the stillness of sleep.
I would hear the songs she
sang as I fell asleep in her comfort.
or feel her lips on my cheek.
I dreamt of her hearing 
her  almost forgotten footsteps
coming into my room.
I painted her beautiful face
until time faded it to a blurr.

Now a man no longer
a little boy
with torn jeans and. 
dirty tee shirt.
people say to me dumb things like.
She is still out there
and thinks of you everyday
with a love in her heart.