Sometimes I call him

Sometimes I call him the reason because it feels like he's the reason for all my anxiety and depression 
Sometimes I call him my abuser because he abused me the worst kind of way 
sometimes I call him Gargamel because he made me feel like a Smurf but instead of my skin being blue I was just feeling blue and I was small plus I was always running from him  
Sometimes I call him my brother but that's only when people ask me how we're related even though I hate to call him my brother 
sometimes I just got him nothing...