Stupid love

Today we spoke,
Small words
Meaningless to you
World shattering to me. 
My heart broke as we said goodnight far to soon
Not knowing when I’ll hear from you again. 
You,
 I’m sure slept peacefully. 
As I,
Laid awake replaying what could have been. 
Conversations that used to last all night,
Now die, 
Within minutes. 
I know I should give up. 
But I can’t.
I can’t walk away 
From everything 
We were
We are
We could have been. 

I know this is my fault,
I let my insecurities,
Fears, 
My free fall,
Wreck us. 
But still when we talk,
It burns through my heart,
A reminder, 
Of the love we lost.
The love I lost. 

You, 
You are fine,
You moved on, 
Living your life.
As I still try to find the pieces to rebuild mine. 
You come back, 
When your bored,
Treat me like your toy.
You can do that because I blindly 
Love you. 
You break my heart, 
Leading me on.
I know you are,
But I allow it,
Because stupidly, 
I hope for you to love me again.
Like we used to.