Truly Pretending

She wore her secrets under her clothes
Like a superhero 
She hid her pain 
So deep inside,
Not even she could find it anymore

She lived an empty life,
Afraid of letting anyone see the truth. 
Showing how broken
She was left
When her mother abandoned her
Time 
After
Time

She was afraid of showing 
The bruises left by the abusive train of men
That came with her mother’s many addictions. 

Ashamed of the secrets hidden 
Between her bedsheets.
Early memories of strange men
Late at night
Whispering hurtful things
Fueling her nightmares 
For years to come. 

She built walls 
Of steel
To shield her cracked heart
Made of glass. 
Afraid of it shattering. 

She pretended she was someone else
Her world was perfect
Never abandoned
Never used as an object for a mans pleasure
Never had her heart broken. 

She pretended 
And lost herself. 
Because she forgot she needed those horrors 
To be her best self.