Suicidal Tendencies

"People Care"
A phrase I so often hear
"Someone loves you"
Its ringing in my ears
Its bouncing around my skull
As I'm so very close to tears
I need to stop the numbness
And at the same time fix the pain
"But with self harm, is there really anything to gain?"

If you love me you would back away
if you cared you wouldn't let me hurt you
if anyone thought anything at all
About lil ole' me
They would take a step back
In order to see

I'm not the Angel everyone thinks me to be
I have more demons than you ever could see
Holding me down 
Making it difficult to breathe
Keeping me from being able to love this monster I call me

I'm trapped in my head with no way out
Nobody actually around 
To hear me shout
To hear me plead
For my past
For my demons
To let me be
To stop torturing me 
With all that I can and can't remember
Breaking me down 
A little at a time
But hey I'm still sane enough to make this sort of rhyme
I'm not going to let you in
'Yes. I'm perfectly fine' 
Ring a bell?
I don't let people in
Because sooner or later they tell me go to hell

It makes it worse
When you tell me I'm loved
When you tell me you care
Because I'm sick in the head
I stare.
I stare at that blade
Sitting not 10 feet away
As I try to tell myself 
That it'll be okay
That I'm strong enough
To survive another day
But it would all be done so quick
And I could be gone
Like the flip of a switch