Survive

My heart beats,
My blood pumps,
My lungs inhale,
But I can't breathe.

My blood is broken glass,
That rips my body to pieces.
Air is made of needles,
That stab me as I breathe them in.

The images won't leave my mind
I can't get them out.

You saying you don't want to talk to me.
You treating me as a bother.
An annoyance
Which is all that I am.

I tried to fight,
To breathe on.
I tried to believe
That the voices in my head are lying.

But how can they be lying,
When the voices on the outside,
When the voice that's brought me back from the edge so often,
Says the same?

How can my illnesses be making me believe lies,
When my medicine whispers the same things?

How can I hold onto hope
Of a future
When I can't believe 
That I can survive the present?

How can I survive 
When I never stop hearing the voice I love
Telling me all the things that I've feared so long?

How can I survive when my nightmares
Don't stay in the sleeping world?
When they come alive,
And say the same things word for word?

How can I survive when all I do 
Is cause pain?
When I can't think of a single thing
That I've done right?

How can I survive 
When surviving means being in agony?

How can I stand writhing on the floor
Screaming and crying
Begging for your help
And being told, shown that I'm weak?

How can I survive this
When I am utterly alone?
Staring into the vastness of my pain
And seeing no end...

No light...

How can I survive my own mistakes
When a solution doesn't exist
And the future I'm told to believe in
Seems so far, so fragile, so impossible?