tasteless

Where are you? 
It's odd. 
I know I'm looking for you. 
I'm searching for you. 
With every slight and indefinite force in my body. 
With such intensity that it some how makes my lungs grow weaker and my heart seem more distant. 
I'm looking for you. 
But I have no idea who you are. 
How am I searching so lucidly when you are unknown to me? 
How am I living so blindly when you seem so clear but sickenly hazy at the same time? 
I don't see you. 
But I see your shadow. 
I see an outline of your confirmation that everything is right where it should be. 
I see my heart - with a new-found warmth
I see your shadow
But when I take a step forward, you step back. 
Why? 
Who are you? 
How can I be so undoubtedly sure in throwing my whole universe at you when all I can see is what I cant see. 
You were so sure. So crystal clear. 
And it was like you never left. 
Like you simply faded as you stepped back.
I feel your presence everyday even if I'm not aware - in the form of contentment and panic all at once. 
And though this feeling is so undeniably existing - it was like you were never there at all. 
What am I walking towards? 
I'm looking for you. 
Where are you?