Team Building

I plunged into the ice cold water thinking it was good,
for togetherness, compliance, just like most of us would,
I ran three miles rubbing shoulders with the Admin Dept.,
but these requisites turned out to be a bombardment.

I was crawling through rubber tyres spitting out mud,
brothers they said, after this it's all in the red blood;
I'm not going to like you no matter how much I climb,
I prefer to be at my desk and write a decent rhyme.

Hymie sharpened his pencils, said: 'It was good, wasn't it?'
I said: 'No, it wasn't - all this cameraderie was bullshit,'
'I'm covered in bruises from bumping on the hard ground,'
'I'm going to ask for compensation from the slush fund.'

I really don't want to hear about team spirit anymore,
I'd rather keep my distance just the way I did before.