The tears i hide

I fake a smile day by day, just to show you im ok. I try hard not to fail you... but i do any way... but the things you dont know about me is every day when i get back home... so called i go up to my room and cry for hours and i let the cold blade slit my wrist. I sit there and  watch the dark cold blood leek down my arm as it starts to fall so do the tears i cry for you. I add one, two, three more slits and the blood runs again... i finely stopped crying so i put down the blade that now had a thin code of blood on it... i go to the bathroom to clean up my arm and as i opened one of the things a boodle of pills falls to the floor. I pick them up and look down at them... thought for just a moment then put them down... i knew i love you even if i hide my tears from you. so i cleaned my arm up and stopped cutting that day.