The Addict Inside of Me
There’s an addict inside of me and she wants to come out and play
But I’ve made a choice and in my head is where she’ll stay
Even though the addict inside of me has something to say
I don’t let her speak, instead, I close my eyes and count until the urges go away
The better version of me is who I'm supposed to be
The better version of me is who I want people to see
But the addict inside of me tries with all her might
Refusing to accept defeat, she clings on to old memories and tries to fight
But the better version of me tears down the walls
My conscience has a way with words getting me to hear its calls
I clench my hands together, and squeeze my eyes shut tighter
Because I know the better version of me is a true survivor, a true fighter
The urges come and go and sometimes they last for a long while
And the addict inside of me tries to pull my strings but I fight back with a determined smile
I used to be a girl who depended on getting high
Until I realized one day, I could wake up as a spirit in the sky
So the addict inside of me has finally been put to rest
And although the urges come and sometimes kick me in my chest
I wake up every day knowing I’ve gotten a second chance
No more waking up to prepare myself for another devils dance
I fought to be who I am today,
and the addict inside of me no longer has anything more to say
Stephanie Davis
June 2021
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Comments
You got this Step! Such strength flows out of this write. Life is a journey of shaping a better you. Big respect in that. Peace to you my friend
Thank you ❣️ I'm fighting the biggest battle every day and it's worth it. Always room for more improvement.
One day at a time. My husband had that battle when he was younger for years. He is now sober 34 years. He failed several times before succeeding. A Dr.Nathan Kline said, "the problems of alcohol and drug addiction have strong links to depression. The search for highs may begin as a flight from lows. " Besides the help of God, hubby substituted jogging and exercising to help, meetings, helping other addicts for a while. Wish you to find success always and glad you shared your story.
Congratulations to your hubby! I'll be 2 years clean on October 1st and it's the best life changing decision I've ever made. I couldn't handle being involved with something that made me feel like nothing so I chose, on my own, to quit and start a new life. :) I'm always proud to share parts of my story as I hope it helps someone else find the path to recovery.
Congratulations to you, too.
Thank you
Wow, Stephanie, that is something amazing! To say no to drugs once you are hooked is not easy to do. I find it hard enough to give up smoking so kudos to you for giving up drugs. Fab poem and congratulations x
Thank you this means so much to me! I have the urges still, but my sobriety is more important to me. And with that being said, I thank myself every day for choosing to do better.
Go you!! Well done xx
Thank you.