THE ASSERTIVE CASHIER

Setting:  Shoprite Express Lane – 15 or less items.

This is the express lane.
I understand.

THIS [pregnant pause], is the express lane.
Yup.

This IS the express lane SIR!
Which I why I am standing here Mam.

Hairy eyeball look from the cashier.
Returned slightly annoyed look from this customer.

It looks like you have more than 15 items in your cart.
Mam,  I have 13 items in this cart,thus,  the express lane.

Oh.  It looks like you have more than 15 items in your cart.

I admired her due diligence. There are too many express lane barbarians with grocery carts filled to the brim.