The Brig
Alternate: Cagged Fish
Settlers stand on salty shores. Kissing the ground. Shaking hands. Applause.
A new life. A new beginning.
Dreamers drift to sleep at dusk. Collecting themselves in all their lust.
Their excitement β Theyβve earned it.
Sad to see them leave. Bitterness sweet, retrieve β only the good thoughts and memories.
Unnatural, unoriginal and lacking a theme -Β it`s like shaping dry sand. Into reality.
No, can`t say I`ll be joining them. Not this time around.
Because I`m a
Outcast β stowaway, why`d it have to be this way.
Loudmouth β tossed away, I`d do anything to repay.
My debt. Soβ¦
I became a slave at my own consent. Β
Hauled anchor and swabbed the deck.
Begging others to forget.
That I was human too and oh, what I would do.
To walk a day in the captain`s shoes.
So absorbed in all my flaws. Locked in the brig and shackled to the floor.
Caging my personality.
Replaying the words, I never meant. The past is fractured, and the futures bent.
But I never noticed those keys.
Left hanging. Placed years ago.
Just dangling above my head.
Β
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Comments
These lines are brilliant. They drive the poem home perfectly. Love it x
Hi Tina!! Thanks so very much. Bit of a gut-wrenching write but one that was super worthwhile. Glad you liked my poetry~ Every word of encouragement helps.Β
Max a' blood and guts' as followers of Patton would say to get through on offer here and bloody marvellous to read, like a catharsis finally with the steam and angst at last released.
And Tina above summed up those lines and what you have brilliantly and in a way expressed here so boldly.
Boldly for it seems like, this is me, warts and all, take me as I am or walk away.
So relentless and direct no lovey dovey easy way to navigate through.
A reflection on life and one's fateful venture on its path.
Great to read Max and do and so enjoy reading something from a writer who's fearless and stoic in what they have to say.
Full honours to you and also full respect as well.
Max, I'm back on here tomorrow night to catch up and you and your poetry are first port of call.
Hang in there my friend and wishing you well.
Your friend, Shaun.
Β
Hi Shaun, thank you, my kind friend, this one has quite a personal attachment to me, but I was super pleased and thankful for how it turned out. Sometimes, we can be our own worst enemies and when everyone else has moved on from our mistakes, we are still standing there labouring about the past, withering away. Gotta keep moving forward am I right?? But cheers my encouraging friend~
great write Max!..........................................................................................Jim
Thank you, Jim! Found my flow in this one once more!!
Thank you Lorris, for always supporting my work~
Love the confidential tone of this Max and some super lines. The ones I like best are the ones Tina highlighted but I won't repeat them....very original. Enjoyed...keep writing my friend x
Why thank you Marion, you made my day, peace and smiles to you~ motivation in all the right ways~
Hello Max :)Β
I must echo Tina also. For those lines really stood out to me. But honestly the entire poem makes for a truly enlightening read. I loved the rhythm you weaved through this piece. It was strong from the first stanza. It helped draw the reader into the imagery, especially as you used becoming a slave on a ship as your analogy here. For donβt we all conform? Are we not all wearing shackles in life. This life so very well crafted before we take our first breath. We are born into slavery. Slaves of society. I loved how you got me thinking deeply on this subject. To question my own shackles even.Β
You have such a wise mind Max and you convey it beautifully in your writing x
Hi, again Gwen, thank you so much. I'm not allowed to have favourites, but this one was very special to me, as it connected something very personal with a hard-fought analogy which took quite a bit to work out. Either way, I'm super glad it was well-received. To some extent, I think we do all conform, the need to blend in and be accepted sometimes outweighs our emotional desire to be unique, but when we stand out from the crowd we find that at that moment, we feel most alive. Thanks again Gwen. Chuffed that you enjoyed the read~
Hi Max, such true words my friend. We are born directly into a society that conditions our minds right from the start. The entire system is set to mould our thinking. To the point that even if we think we are free, we are not. That is why so many who are openly sensitive, feel out of place. Like a square cog in a round hole. The world doesnβt sit right for them. I always enjoy your analogies in writing. Your skill for that shined in this piece :) xΒ
I tip my hat to you, Gwen. For making me feel like a writer, although I haven't always done the same to you. Thank you sincerely, my friend. I'm sorry that I am late.
Hi Max, you have done plenty for me with regards support and inspiration. Never sell yourself short my friend. Though I know it is hard to have self belief, I am awful for lack of confidence in real life. I hope you are well. I havenβt been on cosmo in months so apologies if I havenβt read your latest. I will do soon xΒ
Thank you, Gwen, for being there, I will catch up on your latest too! (For real this time...) I for one struggle for motivation in all aspects of my life... I guess we all have our battles... I hope you have been well my friend.Β