The cost was my soul

 InIvulnerability I have been
Worn masks and been masquerading
Hiding behind my inevitable self
Torturing my own mental health
Refusing to look within and see what’s inside
Very much easier to act and hide
Differently from my own authentic self
Ignoring my creative and imaginative wealth
So while hiding in dim lit shadowy halls
I missed out on the limelight illuminating all
A fractured life of suffering and endurement
Skewed from the happiness and the enjoyment
I could have delighted in if had not
Cuckolded myself to domesticated programming
And I wonder now if I had questioned at all

Whether my life would have soared or in fact stalled
A hyphetical question as it stands right now
I never understood quite why and how
I allowed myself from birth to be so corrupted and controlled
It cost me my heart, my light and my soul.