The Day I Met You...

It all started when we talked on POF 
P.O.F 
Plenty of fish or should I say lies..
Lies you ask why I say
You made me fall in love with you 
You knew exactly what you were doing 
You would say all the right things to make me fall deeply
Words 
That is what I will say, it was just words until we met.
That day was special, you caress my face wanting to lean in for a kiss. 
I'm a fool but I let you
I didn't want to upset you 
But the gentle touch manipulated my mind
It manipulated my heart. 
Several dates happened and I became so attached 
I'm sorry for being a hopeless romantic 
But I believed in dreams and you said you did too
You said you could see a future with me and I fell for that trap
You told me what I wanted to hear.
You did a great job 
I said yes.
Yes, a word I don't use too often but for you I did. 
Our dates were special and it was amazing when we made it official. 
I told you from the jump that I wanted to wait a few months before sex 
I wasn't trying torture you, I just wanted a real relationship based on love and not just sex. 
Sex.. I said it, I wanted to wait. 
He agreed and respected my wishes, or so I thought. 
Days went by and our connection grew stronger.
Until Sex, yes I said it again was weighing on your mind. 
You asked why we had to wait
My response was 
"I want you to love me for me and not for the meat on my body."
I thought I made that clear the first time I told him
I just brushed it off as a friendly reminder to him again
And again 
And again
He wanted sex badly so he said he can't wait anymore. 
He was my first serious relationship and I didn't want to lose him over something like this. 
I gave in..
The few months turned into just a few weeks.
You could say I was desperate for his love
Because I didn't know what love felt like in my life, until he came along. 
I couldn't lose that.
I could not.
I gave in.. I cracked.. my request to wait was obliterated. 
I remember in middle and high school the health teacher talked highly on safe sex.
So did I. 
The thought of becoming pregnant or catching a disease is unbearable 
Safe sex I said 
He agreed well for the most part.
I lied down next to him as he began to kiss me 
Yes the gentle touch of his lips against mine
Both of us lying here in our birthday suits, enjoying each other's company
I was nervous, I'm not going to lie
This was my first time actually having sex by consent 
Consent (permission for something to happen) 
So it happened, no need to go into details, let's all be adults now..
The sound of the wrapper from the condom being opened and put on. 
I honestly didn't know how to have sex and at the point I was nervous and didn't want it to happen in the first place 
I couldn't say no
I loved him, and he convinced me that people who love each other have sex..
He began and I was not enjoying one bit of it. 
I was ready for it to be over, I was scared.
I closed my eyes imagining that I was home in my bed listening to music with the headphones on my head. 
The force and weight from his body crushed me 
I began to cry.
Yes I cried during sex, not because I thought it felt good but because I didn't want this to happen. 
My tears didn't stop him or even concern him that he could possibly be hurting me. 
He continued..
I lied there lifeless.. 
I was just a toy that seem to be pleasuring his overly produced testosterone. 
He stopped for a few seconds, my eyes were closed and filled with tears so I had no idea what he was doing. 
I thought he was done. 
But the fun for him has only just begun.
He continued, his body pressing against mine like there was no tomorrow. 
It lasted for about 10 minutes until 
Until he gasped for air in relief as his semen shot on my vagina. 
What a scare.. 
The tears were nonstop when I felt his fluid on me. 
I knew something wasn't right
I left quickly that night
Crying trying to drive down the road 
Almost running a stop sign I needed to get home. 
But why? 
Who was there waiting for me.. no one.
I ran to to my room, barricading myself inside. 
I got under my covers and cried 
Yes I cried 
I cried because I felt like I was about to die. 
I felt alone, scared so I called my brother. 
He picked up and said hello but my hello was filled with a cry. 
No words came out, just sobbing. 
I hung up, I'm sorry I panicked. 
An hour later or maybe less, I lost track of the time. I got a knock well more like a bang on my bedroom door. 
I acted like I was sleep but that did not stop him. 
Let me correct that.. that did not stop them. 
Yes he told my mom I was crying and they rushed to the house.
I was forced to answer the door, you guys don't know my brother but he is crazy, he was about to take off my door. 
I faked a smile and pretend like nothing happened. 
Questions and Questions, the stare from his piercing eyes.
I cracked.. 
I told them and they were not happy. 
I finally had piece and quiet until you texted me.. 
"I had a great night, I can't wait to do it again." You said.
Those words stabbed me right in the heart like you didn't care that I cried most of the night. 
I was angry, and decided to confront him. 
He just apologized and made me feel special.. 
I took a pregnancy test the next day but it was too soon to say. 
You messaged me with your caring words, I am a fool, I believed every lie you told. 
I asked you if you would now meet my parents
You agreed with an condition, which was for us to have sex again before you met them. 
How could I even think about giving you a second chance when you betrayed my trust. 
Safe sex..
I said no
No.. a word that I should have used from the start. A word that you did not like. So you broke up with me. 
I knew it, I was just a piece of meat to satisfy a carnivore. 
Carnivore (an animal that feeds on flesh) 
Yes you heard that right, you are an animal.
A few weeks went by and I heard nothing from you, but that was okay. 
I had an appointment to get tested to make sure I wasn't infected with any kind of disease. 
Negative.. 
A sign of relief oh and I'm not pregnant that was a surprise to me. 
Months went by and I was getting over you and was ready to move on. 
Until something went wrong. 
It was hard to walk, hard to use the bathroom, I was uncomfortable. 
I made it to the doctors just to receive heartbreaking new. 
I have herpes. 
Herpes.. an STD
S.T.D sexually transmitted disease.. you gave that to me. 
There is no cure, you ruined my life for sure. 
You denied it when I told you but I was not looking for an apology, I just wanted you to see that you hurt me completely. 
Finding someone to love me has been and still is a struggle, no one wants a STD so I feel like I don't deserve to be loved. 
So thank you for ruining my love life..
Just remember Karma is a bitch.. 

~Shaneer Henry~