The faith saved my life

The day I turned 18 I lost all what little faith I had ever believed in. I died that day.I began hanging with the wrong crowd. Blaming god, committing every kind of sin. I blamed the lord when my grandmother passed away.Why lord did U have her take her last breath?,instead of what she wanted to say? I blamed the lord everyday for 23 years until my twins were born in November. They are 6 now and I tell them all her stories I remember.  When they were born I said my first prayer" Lord please watch over us please help them come into this world healthy and as well as me"..Both my daughters were preemies,and then I started to see. I began to pray all times of the day, rather im sad, angry or worried , I spoke to GOD,  he never answered, he always heard and blessed me. My faith is so strong now, i feel the holy spirit everyday I'm in shock more like the almighty  of wow. I speak the word to strangers on a daily rather they ask for it or not. I usually speak it until they give me a hug, or tell me I'm gifted.i just feel like her passing sent her home and i was lifted. Shes in  paradise , hands of the creator,the only healer that made the earth in 7 days.  I know shes close when I hear the rain or see the sun rays.... I have the holy spirit in me  around me everyday .