the girl behind the mask

I do not know how to explain to you that i am broken without feeling needy,
I do not know how to be myself and come out without feeling people judging me,
I don’t know how to cry when my tears taste like the ocean and feel like acid rain,
I don’t know how to explain that id rather not exist than feel this pain..
All I ask is that you see me for me, and know me well enough to know that i am hurting,
My words seem to bleed out of my mouth, waiting for you to stitch them together and make me okay
Again, even though I know it’s not anyone’s job but my own because I control my happiness,
 and that you’re better off without me,
I just need you to see me one last time,
While i am in my prime.
Â
~J.B.
Â

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Comments
Most people don't seem to understand that depression can be, and oftentimes is, a debilitating illness, Jaelyn. Just because is isn't as easily seen as some of the more physical afflictions does NOT mean it isn't as painful in many ways or just as debilitating.
Being a diagnosed manic depressive myself required to take medication to keep it under control, I get it.
Believe me.
I do...
~Dean
A lot of people tend to think that people who have depression do not want to be happy, which is a huge misconception. I personally want happiness so bad that I fight for it everyday, I do everything in my being to just get through the day. I take up activities,i exercise, i do art, i do anything to be out and about so that i don't end up sitting alone in my room overthinking every situation in my life and going into a deeper sadness that i possibly am not strong enough to relieve myself of.
Recently coming to this website and being able to express myself has helped a ton.
thank you Dean for taking the time to read and tell me about your personal experience.
I truly appreciate it.
It was entirely my pleasure, Jaelyn, as always.
Keep fighting the "Good Fight", keep your chin up and hold your head even higher.
It's much cooler in the clouds...
~Dean :)
Hey JAELYN!!.......although there is serious pain running throughout this piece there is a fine poetic cadence running throughout as well!!......a rhythm that truly accents and highlights those phrases that move the reader..... for when you write truth...... it is unmistakable.... and this.... dear poet sister...... is amazingly powerful poetry!!......ALL STARS!!.....thanx SO much for sharing this!!........LOVE and ROCKETS!!......T xo
thank you so much T<3Â i truly appreciate you taking the time, it means alot.
I understand all this all very well ..I feel broken all the time just want to sit there and cry ,I hope you find peach in your heart..