The Hidden Feeling

It builds like a toothache from the moment you wake, the emergency break is stuck so you can no longer escape. 

Traipsing around with no purpose you start work soon and start to get nervous, how do they expect me to provide a service, so sure enough kudos to those that can do it. 

Your lungs are compressed to your chest, not allowing a single breath, the depthness sinks deep, you feel like a mess, are you tired? or just depressed.

Unless, this feeling is a just a product of your bad decisions, your diet, your friends or your lack of ambition. So you question this feeling as just a pre-disposition to not dealing with life’s natural transitions, but you find your self in each social occasion being as boring as the missionary position. 

Decisions become harder with each day that goes by, I wasn’t like this at school so why now in this adult life. At this age in your life you’d expect to have figured it out, right? Why do I feel so uptight? the smallest plight in my life can cause me to stay in all night. 

So you lay there in bed thinking, staring at the ceiling unblinking. Drinking away those feelings of worthlessness and reeling in the hopelessness your feeling.

Dreaming becomes your reality, as societies notoriety for duplicating close minded personalities ensures nobody understands the extent of your minds questioning of life’s actualities. I wish it was as simple as ‘drinking some herbal tea’ and switching on the TV, but it’s version of so called ‘reality’ pushes you into the void of relative depravity. 

I really hope this subsides, if only for a while, how is it possible to hide all of this, behind a smile.