The Lost Hours

Like a shadowy ghost from a forgotten past,
joy, passes me by.
Touching  my shoulder to acknowledge its  fragile existence..
Just barely…Then it’s gone.
Back to the dark recesses of lonely hours
where all sadness dwells,
undisturbed, unnoticed, unrelenting.
The timeless, monotonous rhythms of an ordinary life
lived and presented to the world
with a serene smile and countenance,
yet decaying minute by minute into an ocean
of timelessness.
I can’t  ever see beyond ‘now’
Now is all there is…..or ever will be , for me..
I live within a time of grey mist and silent screams.
My secret world, where I am queen
but with no realm to rule,  and no wish ever  fulfilled.
Just despondency and living within layers of time.
Hoping to awake and find despair defeated,
yet knowing this bitter legacy is mine to nurture,
to hide,
within the dark,deep wells of memory and desire.
Sometimes,
for one fleeting, diaphanous  moment,
there is a moratorium, a hiatus
where my soul flies….unhindered,
above all the wretched melancholy beneath me.
My lungs fill with untainted air, revitalised.
But too quickly,  a return .
Reality awaits…the endless hours pass
and become again, never to be relived
the  hours..
The lost  hours.