The missing

AND in that moment I could do nothing but think of how I would miss you. How I would always love you and long for you and how much even with acceptance fought with resistance but finally given how hard letting you go would truly be. It was like in that minute time stopped.  And I was all alone. Alone with your ghost. Rattling bones and dragging chains and reminding me of all we were and how it is buried and gone. As my feet grow tired and blistered  from this walk through hell without you.  I see the flame and I watch it burn and know that it's  fire that you feel in your chest. Deep and unknowing of its   nature just that it exists inside of you and its so real you could hold it in your hands. And you can bury it just the same. With those same hands you must bury it. With Rage and fury and heartache and so much damage you have to let It go. You have to let him go. And in this moment of sad realization.  I am paralyzed with the fear of your absence. With the missing of you from me......