THE NIGHT BEFORE

T'was the night before Christmas
And in his outhouse
Sat Ja quietly listening
To waltz's, by Strauss  (Really, he was leafing thru Penthouse)

His shitter was fitted
With all manner of lights
That couldn't be missed
No matter what heights

When up on the roof
There arose such a clatter
Ja kicked open the door
To see, what was the matter

So there sat Ja
With his pants pulled down
His ass in a hole
On his forehead, a frown

He leaped up so quickly
Through the doorway to pass
Tripped over his pants
And fell right on his ass

Then flat on his back
His bare ass in the snow
He looked up to see
The roof all aglow

Poor Santa had landed
On that small, sloped roof
But there wasn't enough room 
For sleigh and each tiny hoof

Ja had decorated everything
So the outhouse shined bright
And Santa mistook it
When he arrived that night

The reindeer slid off
Were hanging by their straps
And Santa had saved them
By grabbing the roof flaps

Poor Rudolph fell the farthest
Boy, was his nose beaming
Just then, losing his grip
Santa started screaming

Fly Dancer, fly Vixen
Fly Donner, fly Blitzen
Don't let me fall into
This shit Ja was fixin

Then just like magic
They started to float
And Santa, raising his fist
Did this warning shout

Be very careful old man
I'll get you some day
Stay alert Christmas Eve
Don't get in my way

Now, each Christmas Eve
Ja, won't step foot out that door
Cause he knows Santa is waiting
To even the score
BOEMS by JA 18