The Poem Polisher

Let's start at the very beginning, 
A very good place to start.
Just echoing Julie Andrews words, 
As I pick your poem apart.

You called me to have a look, 
Simply to polish it up a bit, 
Raise it to a high standard, 
So it doesn't read like shit.

Oh dear God you've written about suicide,
That has literally been done to death.
So I'll just vamp and sex it up a little bit,
Leaving a reader horny and out of breath.

Tut tut, you naughty naughty boy, 
Using two silly words instead of one.
I simply sprinkle my poetry magic, 
And repair the damage that is done. 

Hello what's this! Another typo, 
Do you really know how to spell.
Or do you write in a twilight world, 
Under a dim candle-lit stairwell.

Now we arrive at the last verse, 
You're pushing a word to make it fit, 
Foolishly forcing an end line rhyme, 
That will end up reading likes..... hit.

Here's my hideously overpriced bill, 
Please don't be dismayed and glum.
Soon a poem worshipped by millions, 
And Poet Laureate you will become.