The Price Of Eggs

People keep sneaking in my hen house and stealing my eggs.
If they were standing on a cliff, I'd push them over the edge.
Because the price of eggs keep going up, some think they have the right to steal. 
I put a bear trap in my hen house and it will take a while for my neighbor to heal.
The price of eggs keep going up and that's bad.
But when people steal my eggs, it makes me mad.
Yesterday, a man went in my hen house and the thief tried to steal three hens.
I put another crack in his ass with my shotgun and he won't try to steal again.
The price of eggs keep going up and people don't want bigger grocery bills.
And I'm getting sick and tired of having to fight those who choose to steal.
My own friend stole some of my eggs, I can't believe he's a thief.
I put a cherry bomb in the jerk's mouth and now he has no teeth.
You will grovel and beg for mercy if you steal my eggs.
It won't help because I'll still break your arms and legs.
The price of eggs keep going up and it's money that some people don't want to pay.
If you steal my eggs, you'll go to the hospital and when you arrive, you might be DOA.