The space between - mania and depression

I know it’s wrong of me to fantasize about death, 
but I can’t stop thinking about taking my last breath. 

Manic depression is kind of weird 
because in one moment death is everything you feared, 
in the next moment when the depression cleared, 

you feel like you can take on everything. 
It’s just one little thing you have to keep on to cling. 

It’s this one little space between ,I want to die’ 
and ‘this time I will forever stay on this high’. 

So you keep doing everything in double time, 
because you can’t stop your brain from wanting to reach the highest climb. 

Just until for a second you find yourself back in this space, 
where your brain stops to race. 

But for this split second you are in peace.
Before the curve of your mania starts to decrease.

So you fall back into your thoughts of sadness
and wonder if you will ever be free of this madness.