His storm - Once and for All

 He walked with nimble feet across the tiled kitchen floor,
 Dainty, half-fledged, as I let my eyes explore.
 His hair was damp and dripping on the clothes he wore,
 He was a raging ocean and i observed from the shore.
 ~
  I count up the hours and count down the days,
 Each morning I make up the bed where he lays.
 I’m hanging off each honey coated word that he says,
 I get lost for a century in a second of his gaze.
 ~
 But he’s not a man, he’s a hurricane, a storm,
 He’s an actor, a player, that can no longer perform,
 Our once scorching love turned violently lukewarm,
 And he lets himself go like he can’t conform.
 ~
 He played the notes of my heart like I was a song,
 His piano, a soprano, all day and night long,
 But he was too frail and I too headstrong,
 So I watch him from the shore and I long and long.
 ~
 I can see who he used to be and my heart is fit to burst,
 That look in his eyes, we both knew we were cursed,
 But I dived into his arms, carelessly headfirst,
 Now in his aching love I am willingly submersed.
 ~
 Sunny days and peaceful sleeps rest in the back of my mind,
 When every touch of his hands would make me unwind,
 The wanting in my chest was uncaged and unconfined,
 And with the curve of his smile, all the stars aligned.
 ~
 The ocean around him twists, it roars and it cries,
 And it whips up around me, so I immobilize,
 And I see us, in the sunburnt skies,
 Burning embers at my feet as our fire dies.
 ~
 I can’t see him through the chaos, but I feel his gaze,
 He’s not a God, yet I’ll still repent and praise,
 because I am frozen over and he sets me ablaze,
 Like we are back in summer and we relive dog days.
 ~
 I have my back to him because I’m afraid I’ll drop dead,
 Because all this hurt surely can’t fit inside my head,
 My mind reels as I think of all that’s unsaid,
 But the blue sky has long stained to his blood’s red.
 ~
 It’s difficult, when what you love becomes what you fear,
 When your ship starts to sink so you stop trying to steer,
 His beautiful soul like a smashed chandelier,
 Now even when I speak to God, I am insincere.
 ~
 My breath catches in my throat as I watch him fall,
 His body on the rocks as it turns nightfall,
 So I stop watching him once and for all-
 I stop loving him once and for all.
 ~
 I’m sorry.