The thoughts in my head
Anxiety runs through me like blood through a vein. It makes me sick, it gives me pain.
People say get over yourself or go for a walk, how about you live with it then you can talk?
I can't go out or talk on the phone, you don't understand, I'm all alone. When the ticks come and everyone stares, it makes me worse but no one cares.
My life is good and I have all I need, everything you would want from that great book you read.
But the depression hits and I can only cry, can't feel anything else, I want to die.
"No one needs you" " You're a useless mum" "Look at the size of your big fat tum"
I wish it would stop, I feel stuck in the mud. "You need to go now, make it for good"
I look at my family and I feel such pride, but would they even miss me if I died? I know how I'd do it, I have it all planned. I just need the time and the house unmanned.
My thoughts, they scare me and make me feel sick. I want to cut myself, maybe just a nick...
No one will care that I'll be gone, they'll just laugh and say "Hey, life goes on"......
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Comments
My life would be nothing without you hunny, anxiety and depression runs through most of us but some of us have it really hard but don't give up, rage against depression and learn from life's lessons, I love you very much xxx. Welcome to cosmo my beautiful poetess.
Oh, I'm quite sure your family and friends would miss you something awful, Alice.
It may not seem like it at times and they may be a bit lax in letting you know how they truly feel.
However, I've come to find that people care much more about us than we might believe. Like us, they're either afraid to express it or the simply don't know how to go about it.
Hang in there—keep your chin up and hold your head even higher.
It's much cooler in the clouds.
~Dean ? ☁️ ? ? ⛈
Dean,
Many thanks for your kind words. It's a long, hard road but with my husband by my side I believe I can do it.
"It's much cooler in the clouds" I'll remember that when I'm feeling low so thank you.
Alice ❤
Hi ALICE!!..... I too..... have suffered from the anxiety/depression rollercoaster!!...... to the point of being prescribed Xanax to handle it...... but meditation and honest conversations with God and Loved ones helped me to find a balance in my life..... writing has helped greatly as well.... somehow, doing what you've just done here, with your honesty and forthright attitude in this poetic unburdening, truly helps!!.... And I think one of the reasons is that you get to see yourself staring back at yourself through your own words ~ if that makes any sense to you (smiles)..... keep up the good work dear poet sister..... words are VERY powerful..... and you seem to have a knack for rhyme!!.....ALL STARS!!......a fine first submission.... and..... WELCOME to COSMO!!.......LOVE & ROCKETS!!......T xo ??✴?✴❤