The Truth About Me

I am not who you think me to be
I'm not kind
Nor am I considerate
If anything I'm malevolent
Selfish
Inadequate 
I have self-esteem issues
I'm weak 
and I am slowly dying inside without him
I can't be who you want me to be
Or who you think I am
I can't do that because I want you to love me as I actually am
But that's too much to ask for
So I continue to masquerade as who you want me to be
And its slowly killing me