they will never know

I have lived in anger,

I have lived in depression,

I have lived in sadness,

I have lived with an obsession.

day by day, I try to move forward,

thinking lesser and lesser of myself.

my life is over.

I struggle to think

I struggle to breath

I struggle love,

I struggle with ease.

I slowly take my hands,

and write in red ink

"this is my life, this is me"

I fall down on my knees,

asking God to help me please.

the scarlet letter,

is written on brown paper.

the red ink,

is ink from me.

home made,

a depressing aid,

I cool off in the aweful shade.

I just have to walk away.

With a life of 50 shades of grey.

beaten and brusied

loved and misused.

what a fool.

those who hate me,

say I should go.....

but I guess they will never know