Thin

It's 2 a.m. and I'm outside,

freezing in my clothes and 

swallowing my pride.

Inhale, hold, exhale relief,

who is this girl she is a thief.

She came uninvited,

but she got me so excited. 

She whispered in my ear,

words I did not want to hear.

''You're nothing but fat, my dear."

But she was always there for me,

and that's what friends are for,

she stripped to enter the sea,

calling me to follow where there's so much more.

She let me drown that night,

in all my thoughts and secrets,

I tried to put up a fight,

but the courage I had, she took to keep it.

She caressed her bones,

as I caressed my fat,

she'll never leave me alone,

she chewed me up and out she spat.

She told me if I was skinnier,

if only I was prettier,

she would love me like I love her,

starvation is the only cure.

''Eat nothing a day and the fat will go away.''

she said as she brushed the hair out of my face.

''Thinner you will become, 

until you disappear without a trace.''

She had a soft touch,

that ate away at my skin,

burning, cutting, 

she was so very thin.

But I was not and I wanted to be,

in this world, we must be free.

''Shake your legs and dot your I's,

you will become a smaller size.''

But I feared she would not love me,

even if I was thin,

we sat under a sickly tree,

that's where the starvation would begin.

One day, two days, three days, four,

keep on counting you've got to go more.

''You'll never be like me,' she said,

''If you eat, you might as well be dead.''

I did as she told,

and starved for days,

only to meet a disappointed gaze.

''It's not enough, you see.

You're still fat and I am skinny.''

I started to cry,

but she wiped my tears,

resting my head on her legs,

wishing away my fears.

I want to be thin,

yes, oh, so thin,

but I never will be,

fin.