the things i carry

I still carry around those Christmas presents you said you sent,

But I still can’t get the worst stuff out of my head.

It still lingers around like a lost soul looking for a place to go.

 You know I can’t sleep at night?

Because I know I still have to carry you around.

I can’t help but carry around grandmas homemade cookies

So rich and gooey

But you took and took until she faded away.

Day by day I hoped and prayed

That one day you would change.

I still carry around those birthday wishes that never came my way.

I even carry around that birthday cake you said you would bake.

But most of all,

I carry around all the scars of knowing you'll never change who you are.

You never know what you doing

Or the feeling that I get when I've learnt you've done something stupid.

People should learn from their mistakes but for some reason you work backwards.

I can’t help but see your true colors,

You can’t hide who you really are.

It’s written all over your face.

I carry all the bags of clothes,

The fear,

Not knowing where I might end up next.

The car that will take us to another family

That won’t love us like you once did.

Because of you I have to carry this weight on my shoulders.

I wish I could let it go.