Tired of being tired

Im so sick of this life
Every thought of a real future makes me want the pick up a knife
Maybe something more exiting like a gun
Will i regret the things I've done?
Yes
Like what
Put up with all i didnt have to
Keeping my mouth shut when i didnt have to
Just shut the fuck up and light that
Or give me a cup and some ice
A little piece of heaven sounds nice
But im filled with so much anger not even my little dog can find her
Save me little water puddle
Take me away from this struggle